I haven’t felt like myself in a while. There are a few people here and there that I can really and truly be me, but they are few and far between.
I am living far away from my family and my closest friends. I wont lie, I have lived far away from family for a while. But for some reason here, where I am now, I don’t have a community that I can really lean on and depend on.
I think in some way I always feel like I have to be on the defense. Like everything I do is being questioned.
Not because I have been up to no good or anything. I’m not certain why.
But whatever the case… I think back to times when I felt like could be myself. I think back to places where being my true self came easily. And it all comes down to community, honest, true community.
As Christians we are called to be in community. We are not called to be alone. The Bible tells us to never give up meeting together (Hebrews 10:25). We are compared to a body, each of us being a different part, we need each other (1 Corinthians 12). We are called to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). God has numerous commands that we should love one another.
We can’t very well love, carry burdens or meet together with out that “another,” without community.
Communities are called to love, encourage, bear burdens, and care for one another. And all of that requires trust. It requires that one another can trust. That one another wont judge, gossip or put down.
So why don’t I feel like I have that? I am not certain.
Maybe I have purposely taken myself out of the community that is here. Maybe I haven’t let my guard down and allowed myself to be a part of the community. Whatever the case my prayer is that I can find community. That I can find a place, a way, to be the me that God created me to be without feeling like I have to change.
In what ways to you find community?