Before starting this blog I probably over analyzed it.
I thought about what kind of blog I would have. Would I just randomly tell you all the boring things I do each day? Would I try to have a purpose? Would I be anonymous or would I be willing to share anything and everything about myself?
As I began to think about anonymity and the career field I am in, I came to the conclusion that I could remain more open about myself and the things I am struggling with, thus being more transparent, by remaining anonymous to a level.
You see I work for a church. And I have found that in working for churches anything and everything you say and do can be criticized.
When I began this blog it seemed that remaining anonymous was best in remaining transparent. But its not a decision that I’m keeping as a total fact for now and forever more, just relevant to where I am at today.
But God has been doing BIG things in my life and my deepest desire for this blog is for it to be a place where I can pour out my heart. God’s BIG things are on my heart.
After much prayer, deliberation, and even some tears, I resigned from my position recently.
I felt God stirring my heart towards missions.
I’ve always loved the stories in the Bible of how Jesus called his disciples, and how they trusted completely and just left. And I love the story of Peter walking on water. It challenges me to be willing to step out of the boat, to step out of my comfort zone and trust Him.
As I prayed I couldn’t help but feel God calling me to step out, to get out of this comfort zone. And resigning was the first step.
One Sunday a colleague from another church came and asked how things were going, it was the same Sunday I was going to begin telling people I was resigning. I told him it was interesting he had asked because this was what was going on.
A few days later my colleague had a missionary in his office. This missionary oversees many 1-2 year missionaries in her field. And He told her about me, I was on his mind when she visited.
The next day I was in his office chatting and I told him that I was thinking missions.
It was like this great big Jesus moment. He hadn’t known I was already thinking it. I hadn’t known that this missionary was just at his office.
And so he shared my information with her and gave me hers.
Next week I’m supposed to be talking with her about some possibilities.
God’s handiwork is pretty amazing!
Who knows what will happen when I talk with her- if I’ll decide not to go or if it will all work out- who but God.
But it’s pretty amazing to feel like God is opening doors.
Trusting in God as I stepped out of the boat, this little comfort boat of mine, though scary, is truly amazing. And I hope that as I step even farther from my comfort zone and move home to a place where I don’t have a job that I’ll continue to trust God and I know he’ll continue to guide me. He’s pretty awesome that way!
It’s in the quiet after the storm that he has begun to make something of a future out of what was bleak and quiet.
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voicebehind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21