Day 24: Stubbornness

Sometimes I can be really hard headed and stubborn. My closest friends will question me and say “Sometimes”?

One of my closest friends and I are only friends because I was stubborn and made her listen to me and what I wanted to tell her about what she should do. If I hadn’t been stubborn I may never have met the amazing person she is.

Some of my mom’s favorite stories to tell of me (or so they seem to be her favorite because she happens to tell them a lot!) are moments when I was stubborn. Like not wanting a nap at 2 years old, and never napping again. Or getting out of my car seat constantly.

I’ll face it: Stubborn could be my middle name.

When I’ve made up my mind, don’t stand in my way. You wont win.

When I’ve decided to do something, I do.

If I think I am right I’ll fight you until you stop talking or agree. Even if I realize that I am wrong, though I think I am getting better at admitting I was wrong. I will still try really hard to get you to see my point of view.

Sometimes this stubbornness gets in the way of listening to God.

I’m ashamed to say it, but it’s true.

Sometimes this stubbornness gets in the way of listening to God.

Because when I’ve made up my mind: no one can change it.

But there are times when God tells me to go and I have no choice but to listen.

Or times when God says this is the way and I have to agree that He knows best.

Or there may be something I am just holding on to and not willing to let go and He wont let go of the fact that I have to let it go.

He’s always right, that God.

He’s pretty great, that God.

He knows my future, knows the hairs on my head, knows where I have been and where I am going.

I’m trying to hard to let go of my stubborn ways.

I’m trying hard to be better at listening to God.

I’ve had my fair share of seasons which I like to look back on and refer to as “Whale Seasons.” Times when I wouldn’t listen to God so I ended up in the Whale.

I wouldn’t change them for a moment, but I sure do wish they happened less. I sure do wish that I was better at listening to God.

Some of my favorite stories in the Bible are the ones in which God calls his Disciples. He just tells these men “Follow me” and they drop everything and Go. One wants to bury a dead relative, but God says “Follow me,” he tells him to “let the dead bury their own dead.”

As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen.  “Come, follow me,”Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.”  At once they left their nets and followed him.

Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.    Matthew 4:18-22

I want to be better at that, to hear God calling me to follow Him and go. I like that Matthew says “Immediately” I picture their father kind of protesting, wondering who this man is who has just taken his sons. I picture them leaving behind the fish, not really minding that they didn’t finish. Just going. Immediately.

I always seem to want to tie up loose ends, to finish this project or that, or to not let someone down.

God says to Follow Him. And I want to be open to that. So I’m putting down my stubbornness at the foot of the cross.

I love this song by Sidewalk Prophets. They say it so much better than I!


5 thoughts on “Day 24: Stubbornness

  1. Your stubbornness reminds me of my daughter and if I’m honest a little of myself. 🙂 I’m afraid she is going to always have to learn things the hard way, bc she won’t take anyone’ s word for it. Which can be a good and bad thing. I only pray that she will come to the same conclusion that you and I did, it’s much better to lay it down at the foot of the cross!
    Love that song too by the way!!

  2. I appreciate your honesty and transparency. Sometimes I find it difficult to distinguish the difference between stubbornness and perseverance… God’s still working in me with that! I love this song! Thanks for posting!
    I’m visiting via WIP and would love to invite you to visit and, if blessed, follow!

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